God's Total Acceptance

I thought long and hard before writing this but sometimes you have to give a voice to your heart. I see the Psalms almost as David's blog. Thank God he was transparent in his pain and success so that we can see that Christians don't have to be perfect but are perfectly forgiven. I have a lot to learn and some growing and healing still to do. The stabilizing force in my life is the love of God. I know beyond any moment or inconvenience or pain I experience that God is there. I am never alone. I may feel alone but feelings are not reality sometimes. What I have to trust is what God has said. I was told all my life not to be selfish to think of others and in doing that I let me out of the mix. Now I am learning and growing and reflecting and I see so much that I could have grown in that I didn't because I was serving others. No regrets but it's time to take care of myself better emotionally, physically, and most important spiritually. I love life and am trying to find my place in a new world that I don't understand yet. Spending 17 years in education in a protected Christian environment did not prepare me for what I am experiencing now. I will be 47 and still am learning some things folks learn in their 20's.

Any man who wants to be in my life is going to have to love me or lose me. I just don't have time to analyze, self reflect, remake, or cajole or plea. Who wants relationship where you are guessing or wondering. Who would want a relationship where there is someone on the other end waiting for life to come together to live. Either I am valued or I am not. I can't apologize for being me, for feeling, for caring or for loving. I trust God when I am wrong or out of line to show me and hope to continue to grow. I appreciate the folks he uses in my life to show me also.

Thank God for total acceptance .........

Awakened Dreamer

I have no value in this life which I finally understand. No one loves me enough to love me forever except God. I resign to that fact and cease my quest for love. I have awakened from one bad dream to the next to find out that no matter how much you hope, pray, love, care, and give, folks who don't want you just simply don't and you can't change that. It's as transcendental as the love of God who won't force someone to love him back. I should have known better but I dreamed past my head and heart. Now they have caught up and I am a million miles from where I need to be at this time in my life. It will be a long journey back to me, the person I used to know. Praise the Lord, He will walk with me I will not be afraid. Dear Father, your child needs her shepherd to find the fold again and be safe. Trying to explain what God means to me and why I see His Love as an exchange which is exhibited by my submission and service. If you just hear the words to this song and let them sink in… especially the part that says……. MY CHAINS ARE GONE…. You would understand what my heart knows.

I am free from the sting of death…….. Sin brings death…..physical for sure but also the death of life abundant the spiritual death.
Spiritual death is when the ravages of sin brings the death of right thinking, of dreams, of vision, of compassion, of right desires and actions.

I HAVE BEEN SET FREE BY TRUTH of who God is, what He has done, and who I am in HIM. >…. Not by what others think or this world defines.

Dear One ………….. I hope and pray you know the same so deep in your soul you can’t escape it. ………all power and strength comes by the grace of GOD. It’s all yours and has been since day one.

I understand that no one will love me enough to love me forever except God and that in this life I have no value except the value He gives me.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXV6HJxUebg
Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine But God,
Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine